the olfactory oil factory and odd places for crickets


metrosexual, i am not. i’m not even the milder macho version – self conscious. i’m the guy who didn’t shave in the morning because an extra five minutes of sleep were more important than looking sharp for the meeting. and when youΒ join that with naturally horrendous looks, a mop of thinning hair (yes i’m aware that that sounds like an oxymoron but its not) that’s a month overdue for a trim and a complexion that makes me a natural to model for unilever’s yet to be released product, dark and ugly darkness cream; you’d have to admit that this is one guy who doesn’t give two cents about what he looks like.

having said that, a comment like abey teri naak hai ya national refinery? doesn’t go by without making you suddenly wonder if you look like you could double for a-train. so ive got an oily nose to go with otherwise dry skin. welcome to the world of prolonged adolescent symptoms.

anyway i’m not the type of guy who spends the day self consciously wiping his nose with kleenex. which is a pretty damned good thing. because i was fortunate enough to not be the one who pulled out a live king sized black cricket (i’m not sure if cricket is the right term, it’s what we call bote or jheengar in urdu) with the innocuous looking blue tissue paper. i was even more fortunate that the monster settled down at a spot where i was able to drop a box file on it and kill it. christ, that was a scary experience (yes i’m phobic of insects, reptiles, rodents and other non-human animals. so sue me).

moral of the story: take a close look at that rose petal box on the bedside table before you go to sleep at night. it might have one inhabitant too many.


8 Responses to “the olfactory oil factory and odd places for crickets”

  1. hehehe i love reading ur blog cos of all this crazy stuff that u write πŸ˜› who asked u to become an auditor??????

  2. in case you didn’know,its called a combination skin type. oily T-zone area-nose and forehead.I have the same type. dry cheeks and an oily nose πŸ™‚

  3. cripes! we got a dermatologist in the house!!! πŸ™‚

  4. oh come on! ask any girl who has ever gotten a professional facial.
    My mother was always wiping the length of my nose at parties and weddings (dont ask its quite embarassing!)She even did that on my wedding day.. and i told her: Ammi! you just wiped off a layer of makeup off my nose.. and that too on STAGE!
    see you are not the only with stories;)

  5. lolzzz!

    be afriad :p be VERY afraid πŸ˜‰

    i was wondering where u’d gone off to man

  6. trust me, i am. i have two aerosol cans of insecticide placed at strategic locations around my room…

  7. Ah I empathize. I deeply empathize.

  8. nice, nice. i’m not the only one with problems, i see. πŸ™‚

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