the importance of being. period.

18Jan07

i don’t normally do this, but i got tagged by a very regular visitor, mona. so here goes. five supposedly wierd facts about me.

  1. i chew ice. lots of it. i pile up the cubes till the glass or mug or beaker or whatever is full and then fill in the gaps with sickly sweet pakola ice cream soda. as soon as the last drop is accounted for i start eating the cubes. its the most refreshing exercise in the world. a lot of fun while reading a book or watching tv.
  2. i sometimes come up with creative diseases and diagnose myself with them, even feeling the symptoms. the latest is idiopathic cranial gastralgia (icg), a sort of stomach-ache of the head. occasionally i even discuss the problems i have to face as an icg-afflicted person. the pain, the social stigma, the depression, etc etc….
  3. i cannot stand anyone who goes by the name of saleem. the very mention of the word flashes disturbing images of  voyeurs in govinda-orange silk shirts, their heads chappar chappar with coconut oil, standing behind windows and singing goree goree as the poor desi girls apply the latest cream bleach to fulfill their gora ban nay ka sapna
  4. i do not drink tea. green, herbal, kashmiri, khandani or otherwise. or any hot beverages for that matter. after twenty five years of research i still haven’t been able to come up with a satisfactory answer to a simple question, “why should anyone drink something hot when he can drink it cold?”
  5. i haven’t left my house without chewing gum in my mouth (ramzan excluded) for over a year. this ramzan i did 12 roza iftarees using pellets of wrigley’s airwaves before i sat at the table for water and chaat etc.

comprehensively wierd, eh? i tag anyblogger who reads my blog and hasn’t already been tagged by somebloggerelse.

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23 Responses to “the importance of being. period.”

  1. god! you are weird.. and although we hung out together for almost an entire year, i had no idea you had such tastes.. or lack of it… maybe because all you ever did was come up with ways to reduce me to tears 😛
    waisae even non desis enjoy foods which you dont!.. no wonder you hate weddings!
    And you just tagged a 100 ppl just now!

  2. Darn. I read it and consequently got tagged. Will think up something or the other as far as the five weird things. Does pouring glue on your hands, allowing it to dry and then spending a blissful half hour peeling it off count as weird or just normal childhood behaviour?

    P.S: Ditto with the hot beverages. Although in Canada I do generally have to succumb to Hot Chocolate occasionally. Consequently burning burning my tongue and suffering for the next week.

  3. you old flatterer, you.. i only wish people read my blog that regularly.

    and when did i reduce you to tears? wasn’t that saadia hafeez’s privelige? 🙂

  4. nah glue isn’t wierd. if you’d use pakistan’s own magic depoxi steel that would be wierd.

  5. hey just wanna tell u that ur blog is the best of all those i hav came across uptil now as whenever i read it i burst into laughter….must say ur narrative has perfect comic timing n i thouroughly enjoy it…..now dont be on cloud nine n try to be humble….lolzzzzz…..btw mon told me abt this blog.

  6. there i have my 5 weird things up.. and whts wrong with your memory?? i am not sure saadia EVER cried.. it was me always.. u used to say: ankheen hai kae nalqaa… it still stands true according to tauseef.. u were on my case since our first meeting.. remember how u once teased me about that guy abu bakr when he was in the same room!… aahhhh those were the days…

  7. @ sserendipity:

    thanks for dropping by. but to think i thought i was being deep and wise and meaningful and bulleh shah-esque in the style of jim carrey….

    @ mahwash

    i read it and tried to comment but the paki government and blogger conspired to render that impossible. now i remember why we hit it off so well. you’re almost as crazy as i am. and the teasing things are beginning to get back to me… 🙂

  8. damnnn brooo..ur a hell of a lot weirder than i thought!! akhir aap meray bhai tho hai! the hatred of ‘saleem’ had me in stitches!! lolzz

  9. Funny how no SALEEMs visit your blog heheh…

  10. interesting list….. 😛

  11. n ur tagged, YET another time :p details on my blog

  12. @ saira and mahwash:

    you ladies sure responded fast! 🙂

    @ my mocha cousin:

    i’m wierd? what about the girl who used to take one bite of an apple and throw it away? or the girly who loved to put crayons in the toaster? or the….??? 😛

    @ umar:

    ironic, eh? 🙂

    @ mansoor:

    heyyy! no fair!!!

  13. hahaha i wanted to seriously tag u by typing out ur link n putting in the brackets (as if he needs to prove he’z wierd..v all know it already) 😛 the beverage temperature wala point shows u cud be mochaz long lost real brother! the self-invented disease stuff makes u eligible for the ‘extereme weirdo’ award! i have read so many lists but nothing beats this one lolsss

  14. you really are weird-

  15. it was very interesting, and i couldnt resist getting to it right away.. waisae i could think of more than 5 weird things but i’ll spare you this time;)
    waisae the disease thing IS reallly weird.. and you are “the weirdest of em all”!

  16. moniba, henna and mahwash – thank you for your confidence in me. as your president-elect for the wierdo association of pakistan, i will do everything within my power to ensure you never regret your decision…. 🙂

  17. i do the ice thing as well (it drives my husband mad)! and pakola is NOT sickly sweet, it’s the best thing to come out of pakistan.

    saleem DOES sound annoying , i never drink tea either, never have, never will (although i DO have coffee), i finally ditched my chewing gum habit last month (i was never without my handy packet of extra). and since i already have a killer disease, i don’t have to invent any more.

    so i guess my 5 weird things is done!

  18. liar. no human can ditch extra. its easier to ditch heroin. 🙂

    i had no idea you were terminal. and tactless as it may sound, you have my sympathies.

  19. oh shit, my bad. i guess i do have a habit of inventing diseases after all! i’m not ‘terminal’, just have chronic renal failure i.e. kidneys will go at some point soon and i will have to have a transplant.

    terminal sounds so much more exciting, i may just use it in the future.

  20. i highly recommend “terminal mus sha syndrome” – an idiopathic form of familial intrablastic degenerating physiostasis associated with inflated veins in the lower limbs and extremities possibly leading to the patient developing into a morphodite of mussarat shaheen.

    thats terminal as it gets.

    though in peshawar they’re probably pretty jealous of your husband. ahh non-conformity, thy name is pukhtoon!

  21. 21 Cyma

    Hey Abby… bhutto here…yeah got to this blog from ure orkut and wow!

    I alwez thought u’d be the next Naom Chomsky… but this is even better. I mean i give u credit to be the one who has kept the Pakola industry alive but now that uve publicly admitted to having a case of hypochondria and criticized all those poor saleems out there for no apparent reason (hail freedom of speech!) ure even higher in my rankings for “ten most Effective Creatively Annoying people in the world”.

    [Dun get ure hopes too high cuz even I happen to be on that list]

    Is that mahwash the same mahwash???!!
    :O
    And ofcourse Sarah… wow. :0

    Talk about Deja Vu.

    Love
    Sam

  22. @ bhutto: can’t believe you’re still alive woman. i thought you’d have been executed on some public harassment charge or something by now 😛

    mahwash is the same mahwash but sarah is not the same sarah.


  1. 1 The Sai Chronicles » Blog Archive » 5 weird things

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