here goes nothing

05Mar07

friends, non-romans, countrymen (should that be countrypersons in these days of political correctness?), i present my first ghazal. as always when i’m putting up my own urdu work, there is little or no hope of a translation.

zahid    ko   apna   zuhd,   saim   ko    som   mubarak   ho
mizhghaan-e-yaar mein dhakee, jannat kafir nay paee hai

jin  palkon  ki  harkat  sey,  maujein  aatee  jaatee  hain
unhi   palkon   sey teray karam  ki  eik   aas   lagaee   hai

baadal jhaank ker dekhtay hain, shabistan mein har shab
teri khwabeeda nazron ne, jo naee qayamat dhaee hai

rindon ko maikaday mein ab, har pal baar guzarta hai
tu nay   mast   nazron   say,   jo un ko may   pilaee   hai

afsos   nahin   hay   tu,  kuu-e-raqeeb mein phirta hai
afsos   is  baat  ka  hai  nazar  mujh  per  ruk  na  paee  hai

junoon-e-ishq  mein  bhi  magar,  usay  zaalim  nahin  maana
abbas isee laiq hoon mein shayad,  meri qismat harjaee hai

comment away people. its your floor now.

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18 Responses to “here goes nothing”

  1. 1 Asma

    Wow – now U look like a full fledge poet — Impressed ****

    I Specially liked the moods and selection of words in it :>

  2. coming from you, that’s a real compliment. 🙂 thanks!

  3. 3 Ad.ha.nan

    eham. or Adnan ko samajh na ai hai :$ :(.

  4. 4 Kenny Mah

    Aww, wish there was a translation though, for us non-Urdu folks. 😦

    Nevermind, I shall just read it aloud and enjoy the music of the words if not the meaning…

  5. @ adnan: lol!

    @ kenny: considering that you can not reasonably be expected to understand urdu, urdu is still very much a regional thing after all, i’ll attempt a translation. it wont make a lot of sense because the urdu poetry style has no english parallel but maybe the literal translation will give you some idea of how a desi poet is supposed to think – not that i’m a good poet. and by the way a ghazal is a kind of poem that consists of a series of couplets which are each independent in terms of meaning from each other – but share the same meter and rhyme.

    the worship of those who worship, the fasts of those who fast, be blessed for them
    the infidel has found heaven hidden under the eyelashes of his beloved

    the eyelids whose movement dictates the timing of the tides
    are the ones i have set my hopes on for your benevolence

    the clouds peek into your bedroom each night
    to see the devastation caused by the beauty of your sleepy eyes

    each second in the winehouse is now unbearable for those who drink
    since they have drunk from the beauty of your intoxicating eyes

    i have no grief that you move around in the area of my rival
    i am grieved that your glance didn’t even pause, just passed over me

    even at the height of my love i never thought of you as cruel
    abbas, this is what i deserve, my own fate has betrayed me

  6. 6 Kenny Mah

    the infidel has found heaven hidden under the eyelids of his beloved

    Wow. I am so glad you took the trouble to translate it. This is beautiful. May I ask which line in the original Urdu corresponds to this particular line I’ve highlighted? It’s just so brilliant and poetic. I love it! 🙂

    P.S. I’ve answered your question in my comments if you’re curious… 😉

  7. 7 Kenny Mah

    the infidel has found heaven hidden under the eyelids of his beloved

    Wow. I am so glad you took the trouble to translate it. This is beautiful. May I ask which line in the original Urdu corresponds to this particular line I’ve highlighted? It’s just so brilliant and poetic. I love it! 🙂

    Also, I’ve answered your question in my comments if you’re curious… 😉

  8. and boy does that sound corny in english…

  9. ooh hes getting good at his poetry…eventually gonna b famous! can i finally brag abt knowing the all-famous u 😛 translation bohat achi ki hei. i find it better than the ghazal!

  10. 10 Ad.ha.nan

    I second Untameddesires – the translation is better. (Majorly because there’re no words like ‘mizhghaan-e-yaar mein dhakee’ 🙂

  11. 11 Saadat

    You seem to be obsessed with “those” eyes 🙂

    Impressive again. (And I am late, again!) The majaaz in your words is quite moving… keep writing!

  12. 12 Kenny Mah

    Argh! My previous comment here was swallowed up by WordPress. When I tried again they accused me of duplicating myself. The nerve! Anyway, let’s see if I can reword this:

    I think the translation is gorgeous. My fav line is the infidel has found heaven hidden under the eyelids of his beloved. Sighs…

  13. 13 PsycheD

    me no big on shers………but here;s kudos anyways…waisey – coem to think of it – ur gud! both ways – orig urdu – and the translation

  14. kenny, the line in question is the second line of the first couplet.

    saadat and psyched, thanks. 🙂

  15. 15 aasiah

    hehe… i know urdu, but obviously not as well as u, thanks for the translation and yep it does sound a wee bit corny, hehe… amazing really! wish i cud write as well as u……wait, wish my ullu wud write as well as u hehe… take care! n keep writing!

  16. 16 SK

    Wow! Is all I can say..err o.k..maybe i can say more..
    ‘afsos nahin hay tu, kuu-e-raqeeb mein phirta hai
    afsos is baat ka hai nazar mujh per ruk na paee hai’.. 😦 I would right about now also add ‘UP’ ( 😉 !) in front of ‘phirta hai’, but why spoil your ghazal for the jerk.
    Very very nice Xil. You def. should write more. 🙂

  17. i had no idea when i put this stuff up, people would actually encourage me. the only cousin who accepts that i write this myself doesn’t like it. the other two who like it refuse to believe i haven’t copied it out from somewhere…

    so aasiah and shehla, thanks a lot! 🙂

  18. 18 SK

    You’re welcome. 🙂 And..’the other two who like it refuse to believe i haven’t copied it out from somewhere’. Take that as a compliment, as in, it’s so good that they don’t believe it’s yours…oh…if you read it like I wrote it just now, that’s not much of a compliment huh? Khair! You get what I’m saying…I hope. 😉


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