response

08Apr07

on a recent post someone quoted from one of my favorite ghazals by faiz in her comment. it reminded me of this thing my urdu teacher used to say about how the sincerest form of appreciation for a poet’s work would be to attempt to produce something in the same zameen or metre. i’m not sure metre’s the word i’m looking for – after all, the technical attention required in a proper ghazal is far greater than that in any form of poetry i have come across in any of the languages i speak – but those of my readers who understand urdu probably understand that too.

so here’s your favorite poet, khumaar karachvi, attempting to pay tribute. and well ok, i’ll admit it. a tribute was not what i set out to write. it was easier to plot my own stuff in a predefined metre.

jantay hain hum haqaiq qabar kay fishaar ke
haalaat kya hongay is buth kay parastaar ke

qusoor but ka hai ke butparast ka dekhainge
mehshar mein faisalay hum parvardigaar ke

rasman hi sahi, un ko muskurana chahiye
hain un ke rang-e-lab se silsilay bahaar ke

hotee bahisht mein hai, hooron ko khalbali
ke raaz kya hain un ki narmi-e-rukhsaar ke

khuda raqeeb ko hi naseeb kar day un ka saath
apni qismat mein hain kahan mansab waqar ke

us husn pe haq na raha apna to kiya hua
hum bhi to mehman thay kabhi kuchay mein yaar ke

abbas, hamein khuda mila na nakhuda mila
sahil ke paas hi doob gaye maujon se haar ke

didn’t quite come out as i was hoping but in my defence, i’m not from barabanki…

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27 Responses to “response”

  1. danke! danke!
    her is indeed pleased with the Hhhonorable mention in your post.
    her is much flattered also.
    and her is such a shodi, she HAD to comment and accept all praise and glory that be for her.
    *bows*
    *exits*
    *trips over loose wires*
    *falls flat on face*

    oh. as for the thing u wrote, i didnt even try reading it… ive given up on poetry

  2. and pervardigaar se usi ghazal ka doosra sher yaad aya:

    ik fursat-e-gunah mili, woh bhi chaar din
    dekhay hain humne hosle pervardigaar ke.

  3. 3 Sadaf

    Such a beautiful ghazal! Very typical of urdu poetry (as far as i know of it which btw is very litlle) to be eternally appreciative of the loved one who has left you……beautiful similes…..can see how heartfelt the emotions are

  4. @ hemlock:

    i didnt even try reading it… ive given up on poetry

    and yet you got to the parvardigaar πŸ˜›

    @ sadaf: thank you! πŸ™‚

  5. ok. i lied. i DID try reading it. kuch pallay nahi pera. ab khush? i STILL insist your takhallus should be KHUAR and not KHUMAAR…. khumari ki aik kaifeeyat hoti hai… waisay… apke case main khuari ki bhi kaafi kaifeeyat hai… magar khumari app pe abhi kuch bethti nahi hai πŸ˜‰

  6. You’re a good discovery dude. Thanks for dropping by.

    I think you are a nazm shayr rather than a ghazals shayr. But then, it is just my opinion.

    Hope to read more of your stuff,

    farrukh

  7. @ hemlock: kuch log jaltay hain mujh se… πŸ˜›

    @ farrukh: personally, so do i. πŸ™‚ keep visiting.

  8. 8 Asma

    **Wah jii wahh – chaa gayay hain aap**
    Just that I couldn’t stop laughing at Khumaar Karachvii πŸ˜›

    qusoor but ka hai ke butparast ka dekhainge – mehshar mein faisalay hum parvardigaar ke
    rasman hi sahi, un ko muskurana chahiye – hain un ke rang-e-lab se silsilay bahaar ke

    bahtareeen :>

  9. blame it on my headache and droopy eyes, i keep reading kumar instead of khumaar. i have given up on reading urdu poetry too after ratoofying tashrees and khoolasas for my inter board exams.

  10. 10 SK

    Hemlock: LOL at your “bows, exits”…. πŸ™‚
    Xil: As usual, this is beautiful. πŸ™‚

  11. 11 Aasiah

    another wow piece! wah wah wah!! hehehe u hav nothing to apologize for man hehe

  12. asma, shehla and aasiah: thanks! πŸ™‚

    tanzilla: well at least you didn’t add “sanu”… πŸ˜€

  13. SK: πŸ˜€ denke to you too!
    *Smiles wode*
    *splits cheek smiling wide*
    *dies of excessive blood loss from bleeding cheeks and gums*

  14. sounds nice and painful. i’m so happy for you bhutta, i really am…

  15. cliff xille…
    remember the cliff.
    or the north-side facing window of the tallest building in karachi…
    JUMP

  16. 16 Saadat

    Why do I always have to read your newest kalaam after it’s one post old? πŸ˜•

    And let me repeat what the others have been saying: wonderful!

  17. @ saadat: aadab! πŸ™‚

  18. 18 SK

    Hemlock: Eww…now this is bordering on ‘violent’! πŸ™‚ Oh, and…’denke’…huh? Didn’t get. πŸ™‚

  19. There is a poet in you struggling to overcome you. I think you should give in, muse, and compose more verse. This was one was good!

  20. @ shehla: danke = thanks in german

    @ rumi: thank you! thats very encouraging. πŸ™‚

  21. 21 SK

    Oh…good I feel better…I thought it was some new term everyone uses, which me ‘buddhi’ is unaware of!! πŸ™‚
    Hemlock: you’ll have to settle for the english version of “you’re welcome”…don’t know German. πŸ™‚

  22. 22 masquerader

    “… us husn pe haq na raha apna to kiya hua
    hum bhi to mehman thay kabhi kuchay mein yaar ke…”

    Poignant. Sometimes the most simple words (my knowledge of Urdu is not really worth writing home about) can convey so much.

  23. and sometimes so much feeling can just not be communicated.

  24. 24 masquerader

    But isn’t “not communicating” something also a form of communication itself? Then, isn’t it all about how intuitive the person in question is, or discerning he/she wants to be?

  25. you’ve got a point there somewhere but i think you;re missing mine. πŸ™‚

  26. Point taken. πŸ™‚

  27. Good day!,


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