yes, but i use baldessarini…

18Apr07

eavesdropping has always been one of my pet intuitive, if ill-mannered, idiosyncrasies. so has alliteration, as you can see, but that’s irrelevant. its not as if i do it intentionally but seat me in a crowded restaurant and i’m more likely to be zoning in on the conversation at the table beside mine than on the one at my own. so its not surprising that i managed to overhear a rather interesting conversation between the four extroverted wierdo females from my finance class before class was due to start.

introverted, extroverted or just plain perverted, everyone knows an auditor or two. and the one steotype trait that all will agree to is the ability to bitch. global warming or cold coffee, speedbreakers or the himalayas. you name it and we can bitch about it. we’ve been known to bitch about how the bright colours of a presenter’s tie hurt our eyes. or how the room temperature’s gone up because someone had fishfingers for lunch. so four females bitching about the predictable uncouth desperation of guys who “probably use gilette aftershaves” is actually pretty tame.

and yet you wonder. do all the guys who turn and stare when the tall one bends down to pick a pencil use gilette? at least half of them are the bearded buffoon variety who would stare even if it was durdana butt doing the bending. i really dont think they use aftershave. and having sat next to some of them i doubt they’ve even heard of the marvellous human invention that is soap… but thats not the point. the point is that you cannot blame a gilette aftershave for the vice in men. just as you can’t credit virtue to issey miyake. or lore-freaking-al. thats like saying you should ban deep freezers because sheikh rasheed ahmed likes ice cream. preposterous. you should stuff him in one and forget about it till at least after the elections.

fortunately i use baldessarini aftershave balm by hugo boss myself and can take an objective view. so i would like to make it abundantly clear that i hold the opinion that unsophisticated voyeurs use gilette aftershaves in little stead.

wouldn’t be surprised if they brushed with colgate though…

 _____

do you believe in fairies? if you do, clap your hands.

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71 Responses to “yes, but i use baldessarini…”

  1. 1 umarah

    alliteration.wow thats a difficult one.

  2. 2 PsycheD

    “extroverted – intoverted – or just plain perverted” — AAALAA!

    ahh….hugo eh?

    but with gillette ‘its the best a man can get!’ no? and those gillete models are oh-so-drool material 😛

    umm…does axe effect really have that preposterous effect on the females?
    what about rexona deo….sumtihng about kismat-shishmat

    these ads i tell ya! fooling ppl!

    err…my comment has nothing to do with the post na?:S

  3. sheikh rasheed ahmed likes milk. and he says why keep a cow when you can get it from the gawala.
    this was in response to why he didnt get married.
    his gawaala gives him millk.

    i dont know why you insist on quoting our (former?)information minister… he is so well informed about where to get milk from.
    anyways.

    so yeah. issey miyake huh? i didnt know karachi was that developed. thassa kinda high end cologne… most ppl wont know about it even.

    taali aik hath se nahi bajti. what if i only half believed in faries?

  4. 4 mE

    but did you know L’eau d’Issey means “issey’s water” ? bet that makes you think about using the japanese fashion designer’s water in future.

    well i like L’eau Bleue d’Issey Pour Homme for summers, there is a new one they say will launch in 2007 summers, only runner up to this perfume ever is chanel Allure Sport

    but like aint these days you want rent a cow ? and later own it after a certain time period of renting and paying a bit money. but like you can then rent another cow no ?

    im confused

  5. yes, but with owning a cow, there are maintenance and upkeep costs to consider. and keeping a cow is more of a hassle than buying milk off the shelf. that way, you can get fresh milk everytime.
    also, it depends on why you want to keep the cow. for some, keeping a cow also means having ample dungcakes if you ever need to light a fire. also, you can cook it if you ever get hungry and McDonalds doesnt deliver in your village.
    (i personally dont like mcDonalds. just so you know)

    enter xille
    “AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
    “WHAT HAVE THE BEAAAAAAASTS DONE TO MY BLOG?!
    WHERE ISSEY MIYAKE, WHERE DUNG CAKES? {kahan issey miyake, kahan gober}”
    xille dies.
    *curtains*

    it’s all his fault for quoting SRA.

  6. 6 mE

    but like when you rent a cow you know the milk will be fresh dont you ??

    and accessories kinda are useful, like you can ward off evil spirits from the smell of the dung being burned while cooking chapaties on it , must taste a bit weird but heck , its cheap fuel ,

    like you know , oil tycoons wil lgo down when like dung powered cars run the market , THEN the person OWNING the cow will be worth a billion

  7. if you were all that worried about chappatis smelling like dung, couldnt you spray issey miyake over the dung, or if yer from karachi, “baldessarini aftershave balm by hugo boss”…
    and if yer really cheap, teh oogling at durdana’s butt type, you’d use EAU DE COLOGNE itself… or was it eau de colgate? i dont know, these fancy shmancy names confuzzle me.

    should we convince shiekh rasheed ahmed to get married? i mean, buy a cow?

  8. *claps hands*
    🙂

  9. 9 mE

    like you mean put Issey’s water on my roti ? HELL no

    no we wait till cow dung is the fuel source and then we say ” TAKE THAT YOU SRA dumb person”

  10. dude. if the oil tycoons are going down, my search for an arab sheikh becomes rather futile dunnit?

    i KNEW there was wisdom in what my dad was doing when he tried to trade me for three cows.

  11. 11 mE

    so like should you be finding a gawala now ?

  12. dude…i dunno yar… they uthte bethte in sheikh rasheed’s company. which stinks. more than dung cakes or issey’s water

  13. 13 mE

    Issey’s water be perfumed,

    but like so we need to get a new cheap fuel source then, do they make those dug cakes out of goats ? ( and NO i do not look at goats in a funny way )

  14. you know, talk about cheap fuel is TOTALLY taking away from the topic… the closest thing to animals xille talked about was chicks, and sheikh rashid ahmed, who in turned talked about cows.
    yeh goats kahan se aa gayen?

    talk about getting distracted and having a short attention span.
    yer fired.

  15. 15 mE

    but like chicks are not adults , like you know that be bad , Astaghfirullah

  16. my bad, i didnt realise there was a minimum age limit on chicks. they have a minimum speed limit here in UAE, where all the oil comes from and makes the sheikhs rich.
    sheikh rasheed ahmed isnt an arab sheikh, he isnt even rich. he doesnt believe in ownership of cows, which will be a source of fuel in the future, making the gawalas, his friend, rich, and teh sheikhs, poor.

    just reiterating some facts.

  17. 17 mE

    like chicks are always little , you go to hens then, but like that would be for a rooster to think about like goats on the other hand , well some ppl have to think about their age limits as well,

    anyhoo , so aint like SRA rich ? what be happen to all the money he made from pakistan gov?

    and wont gawala’s be more rich than rich sheikhs when dung fuel be happening ? and like dont hugo kinda be like hug-o , like pujnabi wala hug, which in turn brings us back to cows and dungs with cheap smelling fuels and we need issey’s water to smell good and all

    im confused again

  18. goats think about hens, like roosters? or goats think about their age limits??! i think if only people thought half as much as goats, this world would be a BAAAAAtter place.

    and punjabi ANYTHING brings ME back to bhangra man! where on EARTH have YOU been living… “cows and dung and cheap smelling perfumes”… though issey’s water reminds me that karachi has a sea, which is of no apparent use other than dumping oil (that belongs to the rich sheikhs who are CURRENTLY richer than the gawalas, who supply milk to SRA).

  19. 19 mE

    but like didnt SRA mean milk and cows as metaphors ? and like why the heck would sheikhs come to karachi to dump their oil in its sea? like dont they get more money selling that thingy as fuel make them more money than gawalas , ( like not SRA’s gawalas, like those are metaphoric ones )
    and like goat give cheeze, hens just give eggs and like if men think like goats then there would be huge cases of those like unhealthy cases of men chasing she goats around and like waznt there cheap smell coming from drinking beer ? like dont that require age limit to have an id or somethingy

  20. STOP PRESS!!!
    REWIND!!!

    DID YOU, mE, UP THERE, by ANY chance, say “issey’s water be perfumed”?!
    how the HELL do you know taht…. dont tell me you been sniffin issey’s water…………. or issey’s ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER…
    leave the sniffing to goats will u?

  21. i have ?

  22. STOP PRESS!!!
    REWIND!!!

    DID YOU, mE, UP THERE, by ANY chance, say “issey’s water be perfumed”?!
    how the HELL do you know taht…. dont tell me you been sniffin issey’s water…………. or issey’s ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER…
    leave the sniffing to goats will u?
    hmmm

  23. DID YOU, mE, UP THERE, by ANY chance, say “issey’s water be perfumed”?!
    how the HELL do you know taht…. dont tell me you been sniffin issey’s water…………. or issey’s ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER…
    leave the sniffing to goats will u?

  24. 24 mE

    like you really need to read L’eau d’Issey Pour Homme , weikkipedia perhaps ?

    and like dogs are like famous for sniffing no? like goats are known to eat grass, like cows are to give milk though goats do that too, but like hens they dont give milk nor they eat grass, but like a cat eats grass when it sneezes, does not mean it give eggs , but chicks be little hens which come out from eggs , and like eggs can be mashed but they dont give chicks , and chicks dont sniff, they just walk around the hen, and eating worms , but like worms could be used to get fish, and fish live in the sea and the sea be the place where you say sheikhs dump their oil in to gain profits and be richer than gawalas.

  25. you need to get a life, youve been watching too much of national geographics. i dont know the names of my first cousins… really.

    anyways. ive just been given a promotion and a raise, so imna head home… P A R T Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOYAH!

    and really, flip the channel… im sure you get FTV (PAKSITAN) on cable. issey’s water would be very proud.

  26. 26 mE

    isnt nat geo be the one where they walk chicks down the ramp mostly in natural skin n just putting funny small clothes on top, yup yup , i do be watching that alot

  27. @ umarah: not really.

    @ psyched: its way closer than what the othe others got off too… 🙂

    @ shiza: ahhh. a romantic at heart. finally a reader who doesn’t just want to diss. 🙂

    @ you two: matlab ke hadd ho gaee… sheikh rasheed aur issey kay naam eik hi jumlay mein ada kar diye. wo bhi itni baar.

  28. me: you do be do be do be do?!…. i thought you were into chicks and hens were more your… .u know… style…

    xille: tum ne sari baar perhay? kitni baar tha?

  29. 29 SK

    ‘with gillette ‘its the best a man can get!’ no? And to this I would really like to add (too tempting!) ‘the best a man can get….coz he doesn’t really deserve much more!’ 😉
    Psyched: ‘those gillete models are oh-so-drool material’ My ex was like one of those ‘drool’ materials. And he knows it! JERK! 😦
    Xil: Since no one here has really related to your post, thought I’d keep up with the ‘tradition’ and just say…’do you believe in fairies? if you do, clap your hands.’ Aah…Finding neverland.. nice movie. 🙂 Oh and it’s not the ‘fairies’ we have a problem with, it’s the ‘farts AKA men nowadays’….excluding the ‘younger generation’ blogworld of course! 😉
    *and the award for the worst, most unrelated comment to a post goes to SK!*…*clap, clap* 🙂

  30. 30 No One

    @ mE and hemlock: have you guys considered adding each other on msn…lol 🙂

    Gillette or Baldessarini…its totally all about how the guy carries himself…am I making sense??…perhaps not…

    Who the hell is sheikh rasheed?!?!?!…you mention him a lot…

    Lataaah…

  31. @ shehla: i was actually referring to the play itself 🙂 peter pan will be a lifetime hero. never did like wendy though… by the way, did you know that the name wendy was invented for the play by barrie? there is no record of anyone named wendy prior to that date.

    @ no one: shaikh rasheed is the guy who dumped hemlock because she had a punjabi accent… he is also the most ridiculous politician you have ever heard of.

  32. 32 PsycheD

    encore !!! encore !!!
    seriously…i want to say a lot – but am dumbfounded :S

    n i thot i digressed originaly! haha..luv the cow part even tho i got lost somewhere there n dunno how the bloody cow came about!
    and y u hate this sheikh rasheed anyway? he;s the one with the cheap toupe right? the one who not only looks dumb, but sounds like one too hai na?

  33. the one who not only looks dumb, but sounds like one too hai na?

    couldn’t have put it better myself.

  34. 34 PsycheD

    arrey ! u online abhi?

  35. psyched: he is online, but he’s blocked you

    no one: i proposed to him once. i mean the idea… he said he hadnt thought of me “that way”… u know, chatting on msn and all

    *gets down on bended knee*
    mE, will you msn me? i mean, add me on msn?

    shehla: yeah, sheikh rashid is the guy who dumped me for my punjabi accent and is now going out with xille because he likes the way abbas smells. of issey’s water

  36. 36 mE

    like so what do i do now ? like delete you first and then add you again or what ? or like make a new account ?

  37. @ psyched: yeah

    @ hemlock: for pete’s sake i don’t even have her contact details!

  38. 38 PsycheD

    arreyy! pinging frenzy here!

  39. 39 PsycheD

    oyee xill! itna duhhh mat bano! use ur coconut yaar! my comments come with my id *hint hint* – so do like mE did…added me on yahoo..ditto with msn.
    but then again, im not imposing it on u

  40. 40 PsycheD

    hemlock…..im beginning to like u 🙂
    ok – ppl…no weird thots now….i like the way she comments – girl power! woohoo!

  41. 41 SK

    lol, hemlock. Psyched saud it…. ‘like the way she comments – girl power! woohoo!’ 🙂

  42. 42 SK

    Said it…said…not saud it! 🙂

  43. 43 SK

    Xil: ‘Kewl’…didn’t know that about the wendy part…great, just coz I have a 5 year old daughter, I’m now having ‘Peter Pan’ discussions with a guy! Psyched…HELP!! 🙂

  44. 44 SK

    Xil: Just kidding…sorta…I’m into English literature, plays, Jane Austen, sher o shairi and all..yah yah I know Peter Pan is a cartoon…but as I was saying, anyone can talk to me about plays and all, including Peter Pan. :p I don’t mind. 🙂

  45. 45 No One

    Just googled Sheikh Rasheed …I think his toupe is hawt. lataah.

  46. psyched, SK: we have like, SO MUCH in common… we ALL like ME! im like, my die hard fan man, id give my right arm to meet me, im that cool.

    thanx for the compliments yo 😉
    *bows out gracefully*
    i dont wanna steal any more of xille’s thunder (provided he has any left)… yesterday was a one off 😀

  47. @ shehla: no problems, woman. 🙂

    @ no one: if you think he’s hot thenn you’re either blind or dumb or both or worse 😦 . i feel for you.

    @ everyone: i quote the wikipedia article on him

    he use to be a pimp for the military and is not male. Actually he was born as a male, but later his parents chose to have his male organs removed. Pakistan Muslim League prides to have such a person as their leader.

    i swear i din’t write it. 😀

  48. 48 PsycheD

    hahaaha..hemlock – ur funny:)

    sk….ummare we talking about the johny depp wala peterpan? abheeyy SK!! rmr johhny depp!!!!!!!!!!! 21 jump street….grade sch! we were so naive then hai na!

    o-m-g…no one finds the (in)famous lopsided toupe “hawt”!!

  49. 49 PsycheD

    what if i clap my hands…will a fairy appear? i only believe in those i see

  50. i dont know. but if you see SRA, well, hell, he sure looks like a fairy to me… 😉

  51. 51 MAZ

    what bout the person who uses his Fathers “old spice” and then gets beztified? “Mat use kia karo ye aftershave Ali,iss sai daarhi sufaid hoti hai!” 😛

  52. lol… why do i get the feeling you’re still pretty new to shaving? 😛

  53. 53 No One

    “@ no one: if you think he’s hot thenn you’re either blind or dumb or both or worse 😦 . i feel for you.”—> I was trying to be sarcastic…trying to be funny…take it easy! :D…and I can’t believe people actually wrote that about him…(referring to the wiki article)…tahh.

  54. 54 No One

    @ Psych: aahhaha…come on…a girl can be honest from time to time…ehehe.

  55. 55 SK

    LOL, hemlock! 🙂
    Psyched: Yep…turns out Xil was talking about the Peter Pan play while I was talking about the johnny depp movie. Guy and girl STILL talking about Peter Pan! :p Naive in those days…tell me about it!! :p Still LOVE Johnny Depp though. 😉
    Xil…err… 🙂 had to leave SOME message for you, seeing how this IS YOUR blog. 🙂

  56. 56 MAZ

    lol true ive only regularly been shaving for 6 months had to use the wreched machine before! lol

  57. @ no one: i know you were. so was i. 😛

    @ shehla: 🙂 back. i had to leave some reply…

  58. 58 hemlock

    xille, just cuz it’s your blog that doesnt mean you have to talk even when u have nothing to say…
    ‘remain silent and be thought a fool…’

    (really, im not kicking yo behind on purpose… it just happening bro!)

  59. Q: what do they call a million year old pest who weighs 350 pounds and looks like sheikh rasheed’s cow?

    A: a hemlock.

  60. 60 SK

    ‘remain silent and be thought a fool…’ Hemlock, generally it’s usualy the other way around..the more silent you are the more people take you for a very deep & intelligent person. It’s when you open up, people go “What the….?” 😉

  61. xille: burger.
    meri wajah say tumhari aik post pe itnay comments hain, jitney k kabhi tumharay blog pe nahi they
    mommy nai thank you bolna nai sikhaya?

    sk: lol… the whole thing is “remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt…”

  62. 62 PsycheD

    lol@ sk & hemlock 🙂
    chal xill! thank u kaho….see..ive been redirected here when i clicked on hemlocks ‘i spam his blog’ linku 😛
    waisey hemlock- dint expect it was xill’s 🙂

  63. thank hemlock?!!! i’d rather die.

    ***dies***

  64. 64 SK

    Hemlock: “remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt…” lol! Now that makes more sense. 🙂 I would love to say this to a few people I used to ‘know’. And to think I was going ‘all philosophical’ on you. :p 🙂

  65. shehla, she’s as philosophical as an elephant on crack.

  66. 66 SK

    *** Shehla refusing to get in the middle of the ‘war of the worlds’! 🙂 :P***

  67. coward 😛

  68. 68 SK

    ***Shehla also knew that Xil would say that, but she STILL refuses to get involved. :p***

  69. 69 SK

    :)….and the comments are going on and on and on…. 😉

  70. for some odd reason.. i dont use aftershave :p almost never.. although i have a couple. I mostly use addidas when i do

  71. A good way eh? I want make the best use of my inventive sexuality I have a nice fresh joke for you people) What did one wall say to the other wall? Meet you at the corner.


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