chalte chalte, yun hi koi…

15May07

it would have been kind of cool if i could claim i had died of starvation – thats the only way i could ever lose ten pounds – but thats not the case. i died of boredom. which is what you would die of too if your phone lines were down, the ridculously inept ptcl staff were unable to get you back on the grid and you broke your cell phone too in the bargain. it would have been a darned sight more enjoyable if i’d been locked up with a sexy young dimple kapadia type ala hum tum eik kamre band hon, aur chabhi kho jaye… style but sadly, life is not a bollywood movie. fortunately its not a lollywood movie either or you’d have to replace the sexy young dimple kapadia with a fat cow singing – or rather mooing – mein sooha jora paya, teri farmaish tay, whatever that means.

you often wonder why life isn’t just another b-movie. and you often wonder why it is.

no matter how hard i try to be a gentleman people keep contributing to my already formidable repertoire of the language i call gaali-ese. most of the time though the “been there, done that” syndrome takes place. by which i mean simply that each new word seems to be derivation of one i’m already familiar with. but every now and again someone comes up with a gem. the latest came fom an unexpected quarter, the old jinnah type gent at the library, who in a fine fit of rage yelled it at the rather rude guy who uses his reading glasses as a paperweight. i’m not sure if it can be repeated in polite company but there’s certainly no one suggesting that it can’t. it is quite simply a mixture of a snort and a sneeze performed simultaneously while uttering the word(?) “huttaack“. only it comes out at a very high volume and sounds like a gunshot or miniexplosion. something like “HATTAAACK!!!!“. and you have to say the whole thing within a nanosecond. quite artistic. lately the gang has been using it every five minutes or so and its always a source of laughs. even moreso when i did the thing in the library much to the consternation of all the people in it. how did i get out of that one? easy. i took out a tissue, wiped my nose and said “excuse me.”

hows that for a culturally acceptable gaali?

and since you all asked – very touching, i might add – i’m not online as much as normal because exams are looming around the corner and i’m way behind on my workload. will be back to my regular inane blogging soon. cheers.

p.s:

if this post didn’t make sense to you, you might consider re-reading the title of the blog.

Filed under: ramble, the sweet stench of life   |  127 Comments