main kinoo kinoo dasan mainu punjabi naee aandee?

11Jul07

you become an auditor and you go places where sane men have never been before. places which, when talked about, leave the audience in tears (of sorrow or laughter depending on who they are) and occasionally in abject disbelief at the things we encounter in the name of good corporate governance and true and fair reporting to users of financial statements. when the annals of unsung heroes shall be written, our names will be there in golden lettering. provided, of course, that our firm isn’t writing the damn thing because then it will be in arial, black, size eleven, single line spacing and on a u3 page. such is the style of great people and as we are great so must we er… style.

anyways, to cut to the chase, in a nut shell, to tell it like it is and lay it on the line, getting down to the nitty gritty… where was i? yeah. punjabis.  the client i am currently posted at has an unnerving preponderance of punjabis on the staff. and when i say unnerving, i mean unnerving. they’re practically crawling out of the woodwork.  punjabis who for some reason assume i’m fluent in their dialect (i refuse to call it a language – hemlock you don’t even have your own script!) so i usually have to respond to stuff like tusee cha peeogay tay coffee peeogay? which i’m totally comfortable with – that and the sardarji jokes and the amazing swearing – but it gets kind of hard to follow when they start discussing the lal masjid standoff and the movement of the kse 30 index. wierdly i’m the only one they feel comfortable enough with to speak to in punjabi while the punjabi half of my team has to struggle through their broken english and crappy urdu. such is the irony of the life of an auditor.

in other news, my cable guy has started showing this ultra-hilarious channel called fimazia or filmasia or something which is a lollywood movie channel. i’ve configured it on the slot where i had the paramount comedy channel as they fulfill the same purpose. the most amusing ones are the “golden oldies” in which the hero and heroine always manage to end up singing songs at birthday parties. take for example this evening’s offering:

girl: munnay mian hon itnay baray
guy: taaron ko choo lein kharay kharay
girl: munnay ke mamoo choosain angootha
kid: phuppo humari doodho peeyain, hoye doodho peeyain

who needs the late night show?

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34 Responses to “main kinoo kinoo dasan mainu punjabi naee aandee?”

  1. 1 skzworldofdreams

    LOL…ROFL at the Munnay mian thing!! This is for real??!!You wrote this, didn’t U? :D..hehe..just kidding.
    And U sure the punjabis are not cursing you in their language, knowing you won’t understand it anyway? 😛 ‘i’m ‘totally comfortable with the amazing swearing’..err. you ARE?? Hmm..makes me rethink the ‘most luknawis I know are like you’ phrase. 😉
    U are so going to get it from hem….moi is just waiting. 😀
    Seriously now, how’s your mom?

  2. 2 skzworldofdreams

    Hey! I wanna be an auditor…this is F.U.N!! 😀

  3. 3 PsycheD

    oyee xilleyy! tussi kee ‘aal ‘ai! *attempted punjabi ishtyle*

    my dad’s side i punjabi….doesnt necessarily mean i am 😛

    khair….so filmazia eh? did u catch the hefty barrels of women in their laachas doing their thumkas with the trees? or how abotu the ones with garish frocks (frilly of course!) teamed with slacks (hororrr i know!) gyrating away with a camera angle shot in between the horses legs???

    and sk….the above are for real – as real as the dhoodho song

    eww…that word creaps me out…am soo not gonna teach my kid that!

    btw…gud to see u back…but then again….for how long this time?

  4. “tusee cha peeogay tay coffee peeogay”

    i think you mean he says: tusi chaa peeogay ya kaafi peeyo gay” i dont think he offered you both tea AND coffee.

    you cannot even quote right. because you belong to karachi and your brain has been infested from legionella bacteria and stagnation and ghettohoodness that karachi as a sewer-town suffers from.

    being punjabi, the guy had the decency / sense of hospitality to OFFER you either chaa or kaafe. you wouldnt have been asked the question had the dude been from karachi :p
    you wouldve been slain with a pen knife instead. ah karachi.

    so yes. we dont have a script?

    you being from karachi have neither the capability, nor the ability to acquire that capability to comprehend the richness that is punjabi. nuff said.

  5. 5 OMER

    plz few more late night shows …. I’m getting bore…

  6. 6 Aks..

    🙂 i think comments are far more intersting than the post or the channel filmazia:P

  7. @ bibi: its real all right. 🙂 and amma’s much better mashAllah.

    @ psyched: i come and go. 🙂 about the article, i’m on it… you’ll get it by tomorrow hopefully. it totally slipped my mind.

    @ hemlock: it was a she. and yes i misquoted. and maybe karchi is as bad as you say it is. but you still don’t have a script!! nyah na na na na. 😛

    @ omer: you missed the point…

    @ aks: that bad huh? 🙂

  8. 8 skzworldofdreams

    Yukh…lollywood zindabad. 😛
    Xil…It was a ‘she’.. 😉 Hmm.. in that case, hemlock, maybe she WOULD have offered him both tea AND coffee. 😀 (yeah, i saw that misquote, but wasn’t too sure if I was right or not..hehehe…turns out I know a bit..teeny weeny bit…more punjabi than frosty. 😀 …getting up on that bandwagon again, Xil..help? 😀 ) SO..as I was saying, ‘Aap chai peyenge ya coffee? … girl asking…hehehe…so what’d you say, Xil? BOTH? 😀
    err…oh this one is GOOD…’Omer you missed the point’.. 😀 …err, Xil know of someone else who kinda misses the point in other poeple’s posts? 😀 😛 Kidding…kinda 🙂
    Glad your mom’s doing well, Mashallah. 🙂

  9. 9 skzworldofdreams

    Oh! ‘Aap chai peeyenge ya coffee’..If I were asking that (being in the ‘all men are jerks’ mood that I am nowadays), I’d go.. “oh, O.k. Chai? Accha…woh rahin pyalian, pani, patti..everything…apne liye bana lein to ek mere liye bhi le aayega..1 1/2 tspn sugar and bit of milk, please.’ 😀 Chivalry men, chivalry. 😀 😛

  10. no that interesting 🙂

  11. 11 skzworldofdreams

    😀

  12. trust me you don’t want me to make tea for you. ever. i put in at least seven teaspoons when i force myself to have the stuff. can’t stande the bitter taste otherwise. and don’t even get me started on coffee… 🙂

  13. 13 skzworldofdreams

    No harm in trying…Chalo, I’ll give you the benefit of doubt/one chance. I’m a very kind person. Won’t pre-judge you 😀 Anything to get the guy to make the tea for a change. 😛
    7?????????????!!!!!!!!!

  14. 14 skzworldofdreams

    And Xil Ji…the tag??

  15. 15 suga

    Ufffffffffff

  16. you’re that starved for tea? bana deingay bibi. it’ll cost you eight rupees… 😛

    and the tag will come… why does that remind me of old disney cartoons from 20 years ago? ah yes. sleeping baeuty. or ws it snow white? “some day your tag will come..”

    christ i have to get out of this old movie thing.

  17. “Ufffffff”???

    very lucid nadia, very lucid. 😛

  18. 18 suga

    That was a punjabi Uffffffff…

    Being punjabi myself…I sumtimes struggle with understand some of the punjabi I hear…

    Not long ago..whilst flying PIA…We got served sum shitty chai…and the service on the plane itself was shitty…me and my bro decided that PIA must really stand for PUNJAB INTERNATIONAL AIRLINE….

    Wase punjabi ppl rock!!!!..

  19. nopes. punjabi people bhangra.

  20. 20 skzworldofdreams

    lol! @ ‘someday my tag will come’…Mine did..apparently that’s all he was…a tag! 😛 😀
    Thank you! For the chhai…8 ruppees?? Bas?! No sasti chhai please…I’m worth more. 😛
    Suga, lol @ Punjab International Airline. 😀

  21. 21 skzworldofdreams

    Oh…and it was ‘Snow white’…you know the-OMG-the sickeningly-sweet princess, who has a ‘chheee” voice 😛 Gawd!! Get a life woman!! * Ask Supermom about disney cartoons! 😉 *

  22. 22 aggressive

    hahaha!! filmazia hahahaha!!
    wht abt those films in which there are aunties dancing in jails hahaha omg :p

    i had this craze of learning punjabi..used to beg all my punjabi friends to teach me the lingo, the accent, the cusses haha..had Ni Heeray memorized without understanding a word of it :p
    and Punjabis are hawt..!!
    though according to my guy friends punjabi gals are hot as long as they keep their mouths shut! lol :p

  23. 23 skzworldofdreams

    Nope, aggressive…that’s the guys…

  24. zille: your inverted snobbery arises from some deeper insecurities.
    go see a shrink.

  25. i dont believe it that u were mahroom from filmazia for so long. whenver i feel low, i switch to filmazia and see the nagin dance or those dames gyrating in barish in lacchas……

  26. 26 skzworldofdreams

    Mein kitni dafa dasoon thwada tag kithe ai?!! 😛 I know…I know…incorrect grammar..but see I’m not ‘pretending’ to know Punjabi that well. 😛 😀

  27. 27 SK

    Though I think it’s kinni dafaa… 😀

  28. You forgot the “taali bajay, bhayee taali bajay” line. The birthday song for Munnay Mian just doesn’t complete without it.

    Your post reminded me of the hilarious one liner that a friend of mine hugely popularised in our high school. He was once attending a wedding, and got into an argument with a Punjabi fellow. That fellow didn’t say much, but after the dinner had been served and enjoyed, he returned and very matter-of-factly stated, “” (with a special emphasis on hunh).

    Needless to say, the “hunh mein faragh hua wan” (or its variant — Hunh tu faragh hua jay became our slogan for the next whole year or so.

  29. Edit:

    That fellow didn’t say much, but after the dinner had been served and enjoyed, he returned and very matter-of-factly stated, “Hunh dasso, hunh mein faragh hua wan” (with a special emphasis on hunh).

  30. 30 skzworldofdreams

    Your blogworld should be named ‘Samandare GHAIBAANA! 😉 Seriously!???!!

  31. 32 skzworldofdreams

    😀 hehe. 😀

  32. Yeh munnay ka dudhoo jo phupoo ne piya, woh nido ka tha ya mummy ka.

  33. 34 skzworldofdreams

    Yo, Xil!! X-rated again.. 😀


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