axcyouz me, i want make frandship wiht you


bibi tagged me to fill out this incredibly open-ended list. its the kind of thing i imagine 14 year olds who “wants to be makes fraandships” do on the phone at 2 am in the morning from under theire respective blankets. i wouldn’t know. haven’t been 14 in years. and there were no phones back then. just carrier pigeons and messages in bottles.

anyways, here goes.

music: ok this one’s a toughie. having had regular philosophical discussions on music with my guitarist coworker, oz, over the past couple of weeks i’m not sure how to answer this one. there’s music in everything. and its just as good or bad. from the cyclonic waves crashing on the shore at seaview to the clink of her paazeb. it’s all encompassing and yet it comes from within. there is, however, one sound on this earth that is not remotely musical no matter how naturally appreciative of garbled foghorns you are – and that’s chaudhry shujaat hussain on a loudspeaker. i doubt if even his own mother can stand him.

decisions: are simultaneously the best and worst part of life. if you couldn’t make them you’d curse yourself for being a drone. if you can make them, you curse the fact that you don’t have a drone’s life. it all comes down to drones. and all drones come down to the flowers. that’s how they pollinate. you should have known this, you blithering idiot.

sleep: there are two kinds of sleep in the world. the one on your tv’s remote control and the one which is a typo for “sleek”. all other sleep is merely a figment of the imagination except when grabbed in three minute slots while wedged into some sort of moving vehicle. otherwise its a coma. i should know. i’m an auditor.

family: is what they say your colleagues are. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……..

religion: is what you have left over when you disregard everything you believe in. when you actually act according to what you believe in, its something much more beautiful and pure than religion. it’s called faith. iman. and no that does not necessarily mean iman ali. she’s religion if you follw my drift.

culture: is what makes the difference between us lucknow-origin-people and the copycat biharis. or the wannabes from delhi or hyderabad. moral: culture is the farce they use to divide and conquer. open your eyes and look… and stop thinking about iman ali already. as was written on the karachi-hyderabad bus i saw last night, and i quote, “don’t jealous”.

turn-ons: hmmm. turn ons are like, things that y’know, turn me on. you dig? it’s like y’know somethin you see and kazaang! you’re turned on! thats what i’m talkin about…. er, if you haven’t already figured out the kind of person i’m turned on by after the repeated mention in the previous points, you are either a member of the national assembly or a retard. which is basically the same thing.

sucks: depending on how perverted you are, this could get really interesting. i of course am not you and hence not perverted in the slightest. so let’s see. if you have to really pin it down to one thing, my stipend as a ca trainee. go on, rub it in. hum ghareebon ka Allah ke siva hai hee kaun?

words: are things that i’m supposed to be an expert on. them and excels. also, to a certain extent, powerpoints. can’t survive in a working place without them.

wierd: the fact that if you googled “sexy aunty cell numbers in sargodha” this blog would be third on the list. the kind of people who end up here worries me…

i tag mansoor, saadat and the queen of falsas.


51 Responses to “axcyouz me, i want make frandship wiht you”

  1. actaully. now yer the first for “sexy aunty cell numbers in sargodha”

    UAE moral police bans the following site, because its content is inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values of the United Arab Emirates.
    but on google search the third result is this…
    “i have alt of sexy urdu font stories any female want to sexy storiies contact my cell phone number 0333 2154813. (2007-01-30) shahid from karachi”

    now yer really creeping me out iceman.

  2. btw… the “open ended” thing was my compaint.
    yer such an “inspired” creation xille.
    tumhari sari posts reema ki filmon ki tarah “hutt ke” hoti hain

  3. 3 falsa

    when i was in class sevnth i used to fill scrap books like these but now have grown up and still get to fill online scrapbooks like these- yay!

  4. @ hemlock: damn i should have realised that typing that as a part of my post would push up my googlability. you complained about open-endedness? where? when? and why do you watch reema films?

    @ falsa: thank god you didn’t go to my school… thats a wierd thing to be doing in seventh grade. 😛

  5. im wondering if underneath that iceman facade yer actually shahid from karachi.
    i dont watch reema films. i watch her interviews. because she’s pakistan’s no. 1 top actress. or maybe top no.1 actress. i forget.
    but all her movies are “hutke” from the regular lollywood stuff… that other heroines do.

  6. yeah yeah sure. i bet you’re her no. 1 big time fan. poor you.

    who is shahid from karachi? i ask out of normal human curiousity. an old flame? 😛

  7. 7 skzworldofdreams

    ‘and its just as good or bad. from the cyclonic waves crashing on the shore at seaview to the clink of her paazeb.’…That is THE SWEETEST thing I have herd in a long time from a guy. 🙂 You have DUPLICATE older brother…though I guess judging from ” haven’t been 14 in years. and there were no phones back then. just carrier pigeons and messages in bottles.” I SHOULD say ‘youner’ brother” You’re ANCIENT frosty!! 😀
    Everything else is just ROFL!! You are one wonderful writer..even this ‘open ended’ 14 year old tag (eah, I noiced, but no harm in havign fun!) is done beautifully! 🙂 ‘iman ali. she’s religion if you follw my drift.’ Give it up, Ab-bas…DREAM ON!!! There are only 2 iman ali’s I know…both beyond your reach!! Err…one is 7 years old. 😛 Actually she’s more err….within your reach’? than the other one! 😛
    YOU? PERVERTED?? Now what would make us think THAT?? hmm… 😀 😛 LOL!! 🙂 Pervert! 🙂
    As I said…EVERYTHING here is ROFL!! 🙂 Very well done, Mr. Auditor. 🙂 Thank ‘ye’

  8. 8 skzworldofdreams

    Ooops! That’s ‘heard’ from a guy…though ‘herd’ ‘guy’…same thing! 😛

  9. 9 skzworldofdreams

    Aynd ‘axcyouz me, i want make frandship wiht you, baat it ees veary haird to does, ayz you kapes ghaibing’. 😀

  10. who is shahid from karachi? i ask out of normal human curiousity. an old flame?
    surely not mine habibi… remember there’s a “k” word involved

  11. 11 SK

    And there goes the ‘habibi’ thing again… 😦 You just gave him more ammunition. 😦

  12. 12 SK

    Kya hai, Xil? You seriously give a whole new meaning to the term ‘Ghaibana Taarruf’. 😛

  13. 13 SK

    Eet ees searyouslee be too heard to makes fraanship wiht eyou. 😀

  14. dude. if i was to choose between making frandsheep with between someone from karachi or someone from arabialand, id go for the arabialand dude.
    yeah. that’s what i think of karachites.

  15. @ bibi: i is heres dear fraand. now we is gud fraands. can i has your pikchur waring t-shurt and jean-pant? if you is think me fraand you will geve. 😛

    @ hemlock: when you lose 300 pounds, get your face cosmetically rearranged, forget all your punjabi and somehow increase your cash reserves to an amount in excess of aed 1,000,000, then you can hit on me. until then, you’re not getting any action from me. sorry for being brutal but thats the way it is.

    tumhein dil laganay ko kis ne kaha tha?
    behal jaye ga dil behaltay behaltay

  16. yar. ya to tumhain angrezi samajh nahi ati, ya tum kisi bohat baree khushfehmi ka shikaar ho.
    in either case, you cant be helped.

  17. 17 skzworldofdreams

    O! Deeaare fraand, unfartune mai jeen is be wiht Billai..Maikail Jayksund waant it be to song hees song “Billai Jeen”. Aynd t-shurt I haf paked noicley – barand naam nah! 😀 Teel thenh eyou visionize I een Ammareekan clothses. Aynd no ghaibing in middle, aur I ees tell Billai. 😛

  18. 18 skzworldofdreams

    err…hemlock…A simple word like ‘yar’ can be lethal right now you know. Kya hai??! yaar, habibi…you so are asking for more, you know. 😛 Get some sleep and rest! 😀

  19. its not third on the list, its on top 😛
    yeah! i googled..lolz

  20. 20 SK

    lol!! I googled it too just now!! This is hilarious! Lucknavi bacha apne khandaan ka naam roshan kar raha hai!! 😀

  21. 21 SK

    Fraand…Thyat ees nat gud! 😦 I think your ancestors are groaning again. Make them proud naujawan…buri aadatein chhor do! 😛

  22. 22 suganspice

    u should write a book of riddles…seriously dude u would rock in it 🙂

  23. 23 suganspice

    lol @ google!!

  24. 24 umarah

    omg.wat is wid u n sargodha.n were u talking abt sargodhians which makes u worry.?

  25. SK: :p 😀

  26. pass on shahid’s number plz…….i see some frandship prospects ….

  27. 0900-78601

  28. 28 skzworldofdreams

    LOL!! I love the 786 touch there!! 😀
    So wearh deed the fraand go nao?? 😛 😀 He ghaibed agayn. 😛

  29. 29 skzworldofdreams

    axcyouz me…aar eyou ever come bayk, are eyou waant I caal Billai?! 😀

  30. i just can’t seem to find anything to write about. my life is a bore.

  31. write something about Iman Ali then 😛 i am sure you just saw Khuda Kay Liyay?

  32. 32 skzworldofdreams

    Xil: I’d ask ‘Wanna trade?’…but I think that would kinda confuse God in the end. 😀
    And axcyouz my…evan eef yaar laif ees boar, you cane kam se kam replying to us talk to eyou! 😀

  33. 33 skzworldofdreams

    And I am NOT a ‘somebloggerelse’…I am ‘THE blogger else’. 😀 😛 *Your attitude rubbing off on me? Nah! :P*

  34. 34 SK

    hello??..kya? you were just here! Ukh! I give up! :/

  35. @ aks: you’ve been spying on me!!!! 🙂

    @ bibi: i’m here, i’m here! then again, maybe i’m not…

  36. 36 skzworldofdreams

    Missed him again…. 😛

  37. oh yeah right, i was spying on u too… i am spying on everyone, i am an FBI agent, nahi nahi an ISI agent :/

  38. 38 skzworldofdreams

    Aks…hain? Aap thakti nahin? 😀
    Waise Xil…I bet she has better things to do than spy on Mr. Ghaibana. 😀

  39. nahin bibi, yeh cigarette nahin peetee hain…

  40. now xill! u r spying on me?!

  41. 41 skzworldofdreams

    Xil: :)lol
    Aks: :S

  42. 42 skzworldofdreams

    Le!! Where did my smile go?? Here it is again… 🙂 🙂 😀

  43. 43 skzworldofdreams

    Oh, wait..Aks…scratch that comment (err expression) to you. I am watching Little Mermaid with my daughter, while reading blogs, and I kinda misunderstood (Chhup, Xil!!) what you said. 🙂 Sorry. 😀 See what I should have said was 🙂

  44. @ aks: nah. just watching from behind a tree with a chainsaw in my hand. 😛

    @ bibi: whatever.

  45. 45 PsycheD

    w-t-f!! who ate my comment huh? huh? whooo??????? grrr

  46. 46 skzworldofdreams

    AXCYOUZ Me!! I give my friend a smile and he says WHATEVER??!! Hmph! Sea if I be yaar fraand anything more! 😛
    Psyched: It flowed away in this Samandare ‘Ghaibana’..he is to blame, I tell ya! He! He! 😀

  47. finally…. chutkara mila!!! 😛

  48. 48 skzworldofdreams

    😦 *sob* FAINE!! 😛

  49. 49 skzworldofdreams

    *O.k…waiting for the “nahin main mazaak kar raha tha” * Dial up! 😛

  50. ahhh she’s optimistic…

  51. 51 skzworldofdreams

    Ahh…ALWAYS… 😉

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