bown chicka wown wown… yawn.


when chicken licken ran to henny penny screaming, “the sky is falling down! the sky is falling down!” it triggered a chain of insignificant events, a rabble of idiotic birds running around in circles shouting doomsday prohecies and spreading panic – and then history forgot them (it was after all only a lousy acorn) and they’re only ever mentioned in old ladybird classics first graders don’t even read any more. the moral of the story being, when something which can be classified as “the same old crap” happens, all the losers in town go crazy.

in case you missed the point, the world’s worst dressed woman is coming back to town.

my first memories of benazir go back to ’88 when as a seven year old who’d just found out that the president and his entourage had blown up in a plane, the only sentiment i could register coming from the elders around me was “thank god the bastard’s dead”. i was an isolated kid –  i didn’t call pakistan home at the time, it was just where went for the summers – and yet everywhere you turned, you could hear the murmurs of people mentioning benazir. it was worse than the race riots of ’86. at least then people kept quiet in front of children and in any case, the really bad part happened in winter when i was safe and sound in my kindergarten class in abu dhabi. and benazir had that appeal, that charisma, that attraction for even a seven year old kid. she looked like a leader. she walked like a leader. there was more of “leader” in her than there was in liono of the thundercats. and even though the only tv channel in those days was the government propoganda machine, nothing could hide the fact that she was destined to rule.

daughter of one “martyr”, sister of another, torture victim, political prisoner, freedom fighter and a face that people magazine listed as one the fifty most beautiful that year. she had everything.  compare that with the guy who blew up – zia’s eyes were the things children’s nightmares are made of – and you can imagine why a seven year old child was even more excited than his parents when she became prime minister.

as time passed, the bhutto saga continued to enthrall me. i read her autobiography dozens of times and in my early teens i fell in love with her father’s failed socialist mandate. every book on the bhuttos seemed to make you think that here, finally, were the people to rid your motherland of its misery. you saw the famous speech at the u.n. general assembly by her father, you thought of the heroic glory of dying without surrendering, you felt the powerful throbbing pulse of the party slogan roti, kapra, makaan and subconscious royalist that you are, you recognized their right to rule. and thats because the immature, even when alone, displays the same misguided sentimentality that is the trademark of the masses. the mob reaction.

eight years, two aborted terms, billions of dollars, hundreds of extra judicial killings, thousands of tortured prisoners, grand scale abuse of power and a failed economy later, few people could have been more satisfied at her ouster.

in 1996, i felt that maybe we had seen the last of the bhuttos. i’ve never really felt that murtaza’s kids have the benefit of the bhutto legacy after his fall out with benazir and sassi (shahnawaz’s daughter) is definitely not slated for an entry into pakistani politics. when the general had the 2002 act passed in parliament – the one restricting prime ministership to a maximum of two terms – i became sure that the door had been finally closed. and then somebody miscalcuclated something and suddenly benazir has become the last great hope.

what bothers me is not that the cases have been withdrawn or that the deal has been made or that musharraf might even field her as the prime ministerial candidate. thats politics and as machiavelli told us hundreds of years ago, if low blows win you the match, you hit below the belt. what hurts is the unbelivably short memory of the people. i can understand it when a dusty daily wager dances in the streets yelling benazir aye gee rozgaar laye gee but when the tv screen shows you an obviously educated woman talking about how good things were in her two terms you just shake your head in wonder. and then when you see the deluded supporters of the mqm unquestioningly supporting their party’s decision to welcome her home you just shake it in disgust. i remember the night sky in karachi with the tracer fire overhead. i remember finding bullets on my roof. i remember reading of a minimum of twenty innocent bystanders dying every week in the newspapers during the operation. how the hell did these people forget? and i don’t even support their party. they’re the ones who lost their “workers” (read gunmen) to her “police” (read executioners). and now they’re buddies? i shudder to imagine a national assembly in which waseem akhter (yes that same thug from lines area who the ig of police now reports to) sits next to naseerullah babar (yes the same army general who authorised the killing of similar thugs while he wasn’t organising the taliban) and they smile and they cheer as a woman in an outfit designed by a drunk, colourblind, welsh gardener addresses them in her idiolexicological brand of urdu after having had regained control of the heretofore frozen swiss account with allegedly 740 million pounds sterling parked inside.

i mean i can live with that outfit. its the rest of the stuff that bothers me. and yet, even as i type this, there are thousands of people assembled outside bilawal house dancing to the tune of that famous lyari anthem jiye bhutto benazir. is it just me or has she really lost the charm for other 26 year olds that she had at seven?

i get the worrying feeling that it is only me.

and i thought shaikh rasheed and durrani were bad, imagine what’ll happen when sherry rahman becomes information minister. don’t say i didn’t warn you.


45 Responses to “bown chicka wown wown… yawn.”

  1. 🙂
    i love geo, if only for that one animation they show
    “woh qaumain jo apna mazi bhool jati hain,
    tareek un qaumon ko bhool jati hai”
    im going to apply for sudanese nationality

  2. 2 gift80

    Ha ha @ Hemlock!! Good one…lucky I’m a dual national…I’ll convenient ‘forget’ the paki one for now!

  3. yaar hemlock, get me a form too. mein bhi apply ker doon…

  4. 4 umarah

    well i agree as far as the ppls memory thing u baffles me all the time.n not just pakistani ppl.look at indians.look at usa.i remember the day wen bush was reelected.i just cldnt believe it.just like i cant imagine how can ppl still adore and support benazir.this is hopless.

  5. 5 s

    i remember being so proud cause we had a woman prime minister until she turned out to be worse than the men. figures.

    i’ve given up on pakistani politics. actually, i’ve given up on pakistan. completely.

    someone send me a damn form too.

  6. *nasal benazir voice*
    “aap ne dekhaiy hum kitnay dhamakay ke sath wapis aye hain?
    pakistan ke solay crore awam humain lenay ayen they, hum ne blast ker ke sirf 15 crore chorain hain.
    hum ghareeb khatam kerain gay, hum pakistan se gharibon ka naam o nishan mita dian ge”

    hemlock shakes head. sad xille, sad.

  7. Benazir is not only the worst dressed women but also the worst speaeker. And somehow, I have always hated her.Teh lyari tune and the dancers speak of the vote bank she can buy.

  8. 8 SK

    ‘hum ghareeb khatam kerain gay, hum pakistan se gharibon ka naam o nishan mita dian ge”…yeah, hem….that’s what they do…IDIOTS!!
    And you know what the sad thing is,guys? Being a Paki, you first get frustrated/angry at the injustice, the numerous lives lost…but eventually jab itni dafa wohi baar baar hota get immune to it give up. I used to be ultra Paki girl…but now seeing what these politicians are doing…how they keep breaking that nation up (thorughout history), using the land and people there for their own ‘power’…its sickening and sadly you just give up on what’s supposed to be ‘your nation’. I hate politics!! 😦
    You’re right Xil, what’s worrying is that people forget…that she was able to get into Pak again. 😦 All you can do is just get horrified.

  9. 9 sabizak

    shit! you actually stole my past, its eerie. Right now I have something so similar in my Drafts, i didn’t end up finishing or posting it because I got so dejected by the blasts. Perhaps I will anyway.

    Good to see you posting again.

  10. 10 skzworldofdreams

    he stole your ‘past’? 😀 Err… sharam karo Xil, waapis do!!
    Sorry sabizak…couldn’t resist…in a silly mood today…I get that way when I’m depressed.

  11. @ umarah: its worse than hopeless. hopeless was when we reelected her. supporting her now is the equivalent of selling all your future hopes over the next hundred years to a lebanese woman. sorry ghinwa, nothing personal…

    @ sarah: ok so now we’ve got three. who’s up for forming the sudan peoples party?

    @ hemlock: the saddest thing is that he didn’t even get the freaking target. all those poor people died for nothing.

    @ unaiza: she’s ok in english. especially when compared to the rest of the lot. in that context she’s bloody amazing. but in urdu… ***sighs

    @ sabizak: we all have the same past. it’s like, passed. 🙂 and its good to see you visiting again. 🙂

    @ bibi: oh bibi of the blogworld, i hate politics too. one day, i’ll be prime minister and then you can be my sher afgan.

  12. hahaha…moi? Sher afgan?? Nope..too sopisticated for that. 😛 😀 And I would be careful if I were you..when you turn prime minister…there are a lot of ladies like us out there who are pretty good at shooting AT the target and NOT missing. 😀 Esp. if its a ‘man’ prime minister. 😛 😉

  13. a sniper would make a good sher afgan. you need that pent up violence. that agression. that background as a perverted child-hugger… 😛

  14. And I repeat….YOU GANDAI!!! 😛

  15. you would.

  16. You silly billy teething-as-big-as-abida-parveen-duh-boy!!!! 😛 😛 😀 😀

  17. If men would stop convincing the world of their ‘macho-ism’, while hiding behind strong, intelligent women like moi, this world would be a better place!! 😛 You ‘wood’. 😀

  18. yada yada yada. grow up, woman.

  19. 19 skzworldofdreams

    Err…when you say ‘woman’ that already means I’ve ‘grown up’ duh boy….you ever seen an ungrown woman? 😛 It’s ‘grow up girl’ nahin to when you say ‘woman’ it’s assumed I’ve grown up. 😀 Yehi to masla hai Paki auditors ki English mein. Tsk, tsk… 😛

  20. why do you keep bringing up english? i don’t want lessons from you – especially now that i know what you did with the students… 😛

  21. 21 skzworldofdreams

    YUK!! You are so ganda!! 😛
    FINE!! Seeing as how you wouldn’t understand it anyway, I will NOT bring up English for the next 10 seconds!! 😛 That’s o.k…I understand…don’t want you to get a complex!! 😀 😛

  22. 22 skzworldofdreams

    Oh…’complex’ here would mean ‘you being unsure of yourself, not feeling good enough about yourself’ *Aur bataaoon? 😉 *

  23. 23 skzworldofdreams

    What? You went to look for a dictionary? 😛 Ooh this might take a while…yawn!!

  24. what i wouldn’t give for a job like yours. kya ayashee hai. daftar mein baith ker bakwaas kiye chalay jaa rahee hain aap. 😛

  25. 25 Sarah

    It’s the first time in history that I am hearing a “Xill-e-Ilahi” saying he wants to be prime minister and silly me I always thought Xille Ilahi’s were above Prime Ministers. Imagine Akber saying “After I have conquered the Hindukush I will become their Prime Minister”… and a advice of value I’ll you for free: Remain the devdas of the blogworld that you are, coz if you become the prime minister of the blogworld then you might become like those ordinary prime ministers of pakistan

  26. 26 Sarah

    BTW, I mean Babar not Akbar…

  27. 27 skzworldofdreams

    Sure!! If you don’t understand it, it’s bakwaas! Typical non-gentlemanly thing to say to a lady. 😛…touche. 🙂

  28. Its not about having a bad memory…its about people dont care any more….we talk about wanting to do something about it…the youngsters who speak up on blogs or little discussions coming forward giving up on their prosperous careers which their parents want to see them go towards and GO FOR POLITICS?

    But think practical…how can somebody go and be prime minister. Lets say I decide tomorrow I want to be somebody who can direct the future of Pakistan. I would either need money or power. For that I would have to either create a mafia of stealing mobile phones or cars and bikes and build my kingdom. Using that I could buy out politicians who are well-known. Or i could do the JOIN THEM policy and join a party. You need votes to win and nobody knows me to vote. I can never be PRIME MINISTER unless i join a party and if I become that after all the efforts and money I would want my MONEY BACK RIGHT? so a little corruption…here and there…

    There is no choice….but to follow these guys…its not about a bad memory its about the I DONT CARE attitude…

  29. you need to be able to pay the people to come to your jalsas in case you want to be prime minister.
    unless you have 1000s and 1000s of acres of land, you cant do that.
    therefore, you will never be a prime minister.
    now, vote for me!

  30. Oh gaawwdd! You too. 😦 You both are suicidal, aren’t you? 😛

  31. i remember a shair .. something to do with shalwar and teer. i wont repeat it but its nice.

    ill take a form too.

  32. hum apne milk ke liye corruption kernay ko tayyar hain

  33. i was 27 at the time of the coronation of benny-zero in 1988. uss vaqt dil, dimagh, jism, khyaal, sub javan tha, and i remember the excitement while hearing the election results come in, and mian un’waaz’s gadha-gari stalling along the way (the popular slogan in karachi at the time was “na maan sharif, na baap sharif, nawaz sharif, nawaz sharif”).

    allahu akbar, said i… here were our prayers answered and our messianic saviour delivered. this despite coming from a family that individually and collectively disliked (to put it mildly) shaheed zulafkaar ali buttho with a vengeance.

    all i remember of what followed is everyone talking about some guy who had become known as mister ten per cent. anyone know who this guy was? i think he may have been some kind of saint or pir, or perhaps an altruistric 20th century Robbing Hood type.

    oh yes, and something about a permanently pregnant prime minister. (i know, i know, that’s uncalled for at this stage.)

  34. ‘milk, mulk’ ‘Tomato, tomaato’ What’s the difference…who cares!! 😀 Right? 😉 lol, hem! 🙂

  35. I will not give you my vote. I WILL NOT!! Not unles you deposit $100,000 PER MONTH in my bank account…if yes..hum apni jaan par khel kar aap ko vote denge! If no…BB zindabad!! 😀 😛

  36. atleast u remember somthing good about BB from ur childhood,my first introduction to BB was an article stating how she was famous in her student life at a phoran university for her mastery in a particualr s*xual act, how she used to often wear a T-shirt endorsing a particualr cond*m brand, and how imran khan once wore a t-shirt saying ‘big boys play at night’. Then i came back here and saw an ajrak and umbrella frock clad woman swaying the early 90s, and i used to wonder if it was the same woman. i guess over the time, i got immune to politics…..

  37. @ the other sarah: i’m sure you mean well but i, the great and mighty, have an agenda. and you can read that agenda too. just send $9.95 per copy through cheque or paypal (shipping not included).

    @ umar: yes but why vote for pinkie when you can vote for sher afgan? when we have to be fools, let’s burn the whole house down.

    @ chirand: i remember that too. 🙂 plus a host of others by our friendly, sophisticated mqm guys. by the way, thanks for dropping by.

    @ kinkminos: you’re old, buddy. and she’s older. quit thinking about getting her pregnant again. 😛 but while we’re on the subject, doesn’t it bother you that the pm in whose time the do bachey hi achhay thing first came out has three kids?

    @ hemlock: “hum kabhi corruption nahin kiye hain. humaray shohar bhi nahin kiye hain. phir bhi government corruption ke case bana ker us mein un ko dalay hain. hum umeed se hain taakay un ko case se nikalein. isee ko national reconciliation kehtay hain.”

    @ bibi: its amusing how you so confidently refer to yourself as a “lady”. 😛

    @ tanzilla: you have got to point me towards this article.i want the author’s autograph.

  38. 38 Sarah

    If you mean the agenda amazon refused to put up on their site and which is being downloaded all over the internet for free and being burnt in the streets of iran.. then no, thanks

  39. ..said the irrigating-wannabe-so-not-gonna-happen-prime minister-ulloo. 😀 😛
    Politics, frosty, politics. 😀

  40. hahaha!!! LOL, Sarah. Now that would be TOUCHE!! 😀

  41. SHE has borne 3 children. does anyone know how many the prince consort has sired (in and out of holey [sic] wedlock)?

    i’m just asking cos you never know when hitherto unknown bhutto-né-zardari urchins in short pants or firaacks will surface with pallid (and perhaps valid?) claims to the Puritanical Throne.


  43. @ sarah: nopes. i was referring to the one where the protection of norwegian lingerie models becomes the top priority in our foreign policy… at least i have a vision. 🙂

    @ kinkminos: dude, he was from petaro. PETARO!!! the place where they keep twelve hormonal guys in one bedroom. even if he is the type who enjoys a little on the side, i don’t think people with petarian pasts father much. i mean, the schwarzenneger-devito thing was fiction, right?

    @ bibi: there is, on the streets of karachi, a sharp retort heard to everything ridiculous. it goes like “abay ja“. and so i humbly put it to you. abay ja. like so. 😛

  44. 44 skzworldofdreams

    lol! 🙂 😛 Spoken like a true Paki Prime minister. Chalo atleast you measure up on the ‘abay-ja-type-retorts’ front. And since that and gaali galoch, dhamki and ‘coneshkions’ are about the only qualities required there nowadays in the world of Paki politics…jeete ga bhai jeete ga Xille-ilahi jeete ga! 😛 😀 *And some ‘grabbing-my-cool-shades type frosties would actually believe that was a compliment. 😛 *
    ROFL to the comment back to Sarah. You pathetic PG 13 vision-‘izer’!

  45. Bibi was a real woman of characters but sadly she is no more with us.

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