chim chimini chim chimini chim chim cheroo…

15Dec07

yes i know the wind won’t blow in an english nanny with an umbrella. it’s not the done thing and hasn’t been heard of since the 1930s and the wind in karachi is among the most fashionable in the world. this post isn’t about the pussycat dolls and busta rhymes and their dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? video either, though if you somehow managed to reach that conclusion you have definitely grasped the inner meaning of the bemaina. i salute you.

this post is about enlightened moderation. and moderated enlightenment. and all the things that lie in between. the views of people who don’t matter on issues that do. the reason for why national consensus will be developed only after doomsday or the day the south africans win a cricket world cup, whichever comes later. at least doomsday is a certainty.

a relative who’s pretty active on the lahore social scene, let’s call her manahil (mainly because her own name sounds nothing like that but also because “nehal” means honeybee in arabic and “manahil” has no meaning in any language that i can trace and let’s face it, a socialite is very like a honeybee), was lamenting about the fast spreading wave of “talibanisation” in her city the last time i visited her. “here?” i asked, incredulous –  i had, after all, just been with her to a place where my teeshirt had longer sleeves than any of the women present – only to recieve the explanation that “every fifth or sixth girl has started wearing a scarf”.

okaaayy.

another relative who’s pretty active on the karachi social scene, lets call her lihanam (mainly because thats the name manahil in reverse and yes it still doesn’t mean anything) can also often be heard lamenting about the talibanisation of her own social contacts. she, however, is referring to the almost enforced donning of naqabs and burqas and refusal of permission to well, do anything “social” during the socializing if you follow my drift.

as you have no doubt not been able to grasp from the preceding
paragraphs, enlightened moderation is all about manahil and lihanam worrying about their interpretations of talibanisation which is something they define as women being forced to do something they don’t want to. like asking an 18 year old girl who normally wears a tee and jeans to don a shuttlecock. or asking an eighteen year old who normally wears a shuttlecock to don levis and a tube top. moderated enlightenment is the fallout that comes with relative media freedom. this is the bit where idiots of all shapes and sizes with nothing in common apart from their uncanny ability to not be classified as a representative sample of the average pakilander are brought on to (beleive it or not) news channels to expound on their limited understanding of social issues in front of as many people the world is willing to field in front of the millions of tvs that inahabit the earth. yes dawn news, i AM talking about your open frequency thing. never has a tv show needed to be ditched more than that open frequency thing you guys pretend captures the popular opinion. i, and by definition, other like me, would prefer to see half an hour of federal cabinet members swatting flies.

or actually flies swatting federal cabinet members. now that would be something.

____________

in other earth shaking news, i am shortening my sideburns.

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25 Responses to “chim chimini chim chimini chim chim cheroo…”

  1. 1 UD

    dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? 😛
    a post on that video would have been more .. entertaining lolz

  2. you dont have sideburns.
    and you would never make a hot anything.

  3. 3 Saadat

    How enlightening!

    By the way, Ferozsons’ Arabic to Urdu dictionary lists manahil as a synonym for manhal, and you can find the meaning of manhal here.

  4. saadat, my man, you are a regular behr-ul-uloom. thanks for the tip. 🙂

  5. 5 PsycheD

    i wonder what ur gonna name ur offsprings! 😛

    gud to see u back in action again frosty! keep at it. now can i have the masterpiece I’ve been eagerly waiting for??? pwwweeeeess?? u can use as many outlandish names in it – with or wihtout meanings if u wanna 🙂

  6. 6 Saadat

    I won’t call myself a behr-ul-uloom, you know. Because then I wouldn’t have missed the little jeem written in the dictionary, which actually meant that manahil is the plural of manhal.

    But you’re welcome. 🙂

  7. @ psyched: in a couple of days… 🙂

    @ saadat: i actually managed to figure that part out myself what with the word structure and all. 🙂 but it still doesn’t make sense to name anyone a bunch of oases or whatever. i could understand it the common name was the singular form but wierdly it’s the plural. then again it wouldn’t be paki if it weren’t wierd…

  8. 8 skzworldofdreams

    LOL!! Another masterpiece. 🙂 *That was such a Paki way of saying “NOICE!” 😀 * Khair!! Good to have you back. 🙂
    Oh…and in other earth shaking news….no one cares what you do to your sideburns (and as hem said…did you even HAVE any? 😛 ), frosty. 😛 Khushfehmiaan!! 😀

  9. you know who has sideburns? steven hyde has sideburns. wallahi, kia sideburns hain!
    tum kis khait ki muli ho?
    no wait… tum lalu khait ki mooli ho 😀

  10. 10 skzworldofdreams

    Hem: ROFL!!!! *High five!*
    ANNNNDDD he’s flown off with Mary Poppins this time. Chhatri toot jayegi frosty!! Phir gaya. :/

  11. 11 UD

    Eid Mubarak to the Xill-e-Elahi… 😛 khush raho 🙂

  12. Eid Mubarak to you and yours. 🙂

  13. First things first … Eid Mubarak.
    All other things coming in their own place … You are one heckova funny guy. And thank God you have no problem admitting you understand/speak urdu. (rolling eyes)

  14. @ hemlock: laloo khait is the only place in the world where you can find a guy who can make a tv cum blender out of a monitor and pc ventilation fan without having ever gone to school. they probably grow radish too. how many khaits in your pind have that kind of a diversified portfolio? 😛

    @ bibi: yes i am a master 😎 i know, i know… 😛

    @ saadat and mona: eid mubarak to you too.

    @ the beutiful stranger: eid mubarak. fyi, i have one of those spinachy green passports which would leave me feeling like an idiot if i said i couldn’t speak my mother tongue. 🙂

  15. 15 hemlock

    in my khaits habibi, we use human beans as substitutes for bulls, and make them plough our lands. i think my gramps told me it was good for them beoble. like, their living depended on making us richer. making us the richest people on the planet beats all inventions 😀
    you were saying?

  16. 16 skzworldofdreams

    XIl: As I said… KHUSFEHMIAN!! 😛

  17. i was saying your gramps later joked with his buddies about the blonde granddaughter who belived him every time he tried to make a fool out of her… 😛

    bibi, what would you know? 😛

  18. =P works for me habibi. as long as i get to stay rich without working for it =P

  19. 19 skzworldofdreams

    …about being insane and delusional? True I wouldn’t know ANYTHING about that. Chalo atleast you consent to being one of the insane ones and bow down to my perfections/’how-would-she-know-anything-about-anything-imperfect. She is AWESOME/GREAT/BEYOND COMPARE!!!” 😀
    I can go on…. 😛

  20. 20 skzworldofdreams

    hem: LOL!!! Now that would be an ‘OUCH!’, frosty. 😉

  21. @ hemlock: being blonde makes you rich? you forget you have to weigh as much as paris hilton for that to work out, not as much as rikishi. 😛

    @ bibi: how you made that connection is beyond me. and i’m the delusional one… 🙂 P

  22. You’re apparently also the one with the fake IQ test results. 😀 😛 Sar ke uppar se guzar gaya? 😉

  23. 23 PsycheD

    err…how long is a couple of days ???

  24. dang i totally forgot. in a genuine couple of days.


  1. 1 chim chimini chim chimini chim chim cheroo… | Tea Break

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