for the want of a nail

15Jul09

imran khan was never my idol – even though i was one of “imran’s tigers” in the shaukat khanum fundraising thing and had an autographed picture to prove it – that slot, as cricket goes, has always been wasim akram’s. there was always something special about someone whom even imran khan called the prince of pakistan. the unique, ball concealing action, the incredible variety and then there was that almost unbelievable mastery of swing. ahh, that was swing. inswing, outswing, reverse swing, even both ways swing in the same delivery. blasphemous it might be, but “god’s left arm” was the most appropriate title. divine intervention is the only explanation for what his deliveries did on their 22 yard journey to the other end of the pitch. admittedly, i speak with the fervour of a religious convert – which in some ways i was, substituting cricket for coppola’s the godfather as the ultimade code of modern  life at the ripe old age of 17. wodehouse said that golf, like measles, should be caught young. the same applies for cricket. you catch it at an old age like i did and you spend the rest of your life spouting statistics, fuming over selectoral decisions, watching youtube videos of matches you watched live at the stadium, and piercing voodoo dolls of pitch curators who messed up. ok, maybe you won’t start youtubing. but that’s besides the point.

the current pakistani team, world champions of the most idiotic format of the game (though i’m not denying that i enjoy every second of it), like me, are wasim akram fans. they are such great fans that they decided to play this test series as a tribute to the greatest left arm bowler in the history of cricket. of course, they could not emulate him on the field. that would be like asking every reporter in the world to jump from rooftops wearing blue tights and faggoty red underwear just because they have the same job description as clark kent. so like a drunken abstract artist will paint a curved brown line and try to convince you that it is a bounding gazelle, this team decided to swing from outstanding to pathetic and back several times over the course of the series to represent wasim bhai’s inswinging yorkers and those magic deliveries that would crash into your pads after you’d shoulderd arms in the belief that they would swing the other way. and in a beautiful tribute to his delivery to croft that even the umpire didn’t understand (it swung both ways!) the team went from sensational collapse to spectacular fightback to sensational collapse again in the second test.

the snowball that became an avalanche

the snowball that became an avalanche

i am in pain, in pain. i hope they rot in hell.

_____________________________________________
in other news, the collaborative blog on karachi by halai and yours truly is up. visit, read, enjoy.
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10 Responses to “for the want of a nail”

  1. 1 Sam

    Aww.. You r so hurt arent you? you poor poor thing! :p but you’ll bounce back for sure.
    By the by i happened to cross paths with your two abbas blog and i think i almost teared up at how amazing it was.. 🙂 made me want to share my anecdotes bout khi :p

  2. 2 halai

    Sam you should share.

  3. i thought earlier of leaving a comment. then i changed my mind.

  4. 4 Sam

    That would be wonderful.. 🙂 let me know where to write..

  5. cyma, i’ve added you as a contributor. feel free to post. and get all your friends to post about karachi too.

  6. 6 cymarizwankhan

    Thankyou guyz!!!!!!!!!! 😀
    will do…

  7. whoever designed superman’s costume was a jackass! or maybe he just strange fetishes.

    and don’t be such a hater! its a paki tradition to be a let down, our team’s players are are just great traditionalists 😀

  8. 8 Specs

    Is this post true or what!!

    The day Wasim Akram retired, I stopped watching cricket. I haven’t regretted it one single day.

    In fact, while people cry, bite nails, etc. I dip my chips into ranch dressing and crunch on them slowly while getting more value for entertainment out of their expressions…not only when they’re shouting at the TV, but when they turn around breathing short breaths, on the verge of tears, and catch me watching them with an expression of polite amusement.

    THAT, in itself, was worth giving up this weird team for. 😉

    Yes, I blaspheme. 😛

  9. @ cyma: we’re waiting. 🙂

    @ farooqk: i hope they all get genital warts. that’s all they’re good for.

    @ specs: wasim bhai left the game poorer for his loss. after all, woh cigarette nahin peetay. 🙂

  10. 10 cyma

    yes guys im on it! sorry was stuck with work.. :/


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