honour thy (grand)father


you see a hot blonde chick on the street and you know that you’ve seen a hot blonde chick on the street – unless of course you’re in bangkok, in which case you have seen something which you should not have thought of as hot. you see a hot blonde chick’s avatar on the internet and you know you’re dealing with a seriously overweight bloke who needs a job, pronto. these are the facts of life. it’s sad but it is what it is.

of course, that is not what this post is about.

they say a sure sign of senility is the crossing of random threads of thought where ordinarily you would expect just one. for instance, a discussion about politics focusses on politics. a discussion about sport focusses on sport. a discussion about lebanon focusses on girls. this is natural. a senile person, on the other hand, approaches a conversation differently. he talks about red sweaters, his grandmother’s banana tree, the first time he wore an overcoat and the fact that he hides his money in a woollen sock, just to tell you that he’s feeling cold and that you need to switch off the a.c. and while i often vehemently dispute the allegations that i’m a doddering old man in dire need of the fountain of youth, my writing style (or lack of it) generally indicates i have mastered this aspect of senility like few people have ever done before me.

however, i have recently received the semi-clarification that i’m not old, just old-school. after spending the best part of the past three years telling people that i’m actually a bit younger than the 36 they take me for, it was mildly refreshing to have someone register surprise that my thirtieth birthday comes up next month. apparently, i look 27. admittedly it gets dark on the dubai marina after 12:00 am and the lady in question is one of the types who get pretty high after two and half puffs of watermelon sheesha (the things these kids smoke nowadays, i tell you, its ridiculous) but the point stands. this is the same lady who told me that her grandfather – get a load of this, grandfather not regular father – used to watch the tv shows i mentioned when she inquired who moeen akhtar was. she is also the same lady who told me that her father – regular variety this time, not grand – shares my taste in wodehouse, who apparently had a sense of humour that is so not for this generation. and she told me i look 27 which makes me a hypothetically 2-3 years older than her which in turn makes me more or less part of her own generation. which makes me fit like a glove into three generations of her family. so, yeah.  them sheesha dudes at the dubai marina? they be mixin’ it real strong.

but…. assuming i survive most of ramadan, i’ll turn 30 next month. 30!!!!!

[author’s note: one of this dame’s best friends says that 34 year old men turn into perverts so i’m going to enjoy watching the change in my personality over the next 4 years. i hope its gradual but noticeable, not a cinderalla style 12 0’clock where nothing happens until you’re 34 and then suddenly you find yourself offering free mammograms outside private clinics in jumeirah. that way you’d miss the fun]

but, leikin, magar, 30!!! in management consultancy terms, father time has delivered significantly earlier than expected thereby disrupting the supply chain of life. in shayari terms, my chief concern at the moment is as follows:

maashooq kahein aap hamaare hain buzurg
na cheez ko yeh din na dikhana, ya rab!

le sigh.


22 Responses to “honour thy (grand)father”

  1. 1 Owl

    Dude, I don’t know who this female is but a.) she hangs out with you after 12 a.m. b.) she smokes sheesha and c.) she um, complimented your looks. MARRY HER BEFORE SHE ESCAPES!!!

  2. not while iman ali’s counter is still officially open. i have faith. deep faith.

  3. The big three-oh.

    Would you judge me if I said I’m looking forward to it?

    Or hate me if I added that it’s a good three years from now?

  4. hate is a weak word. a very weak word. 🙂

  5. I promise to celebrate with empathy.

  6. 6 kona berwalla

    spoiler alert:
    it begins with memory loss…

  7. i havent commented on your blog in a while. not that i havent been reading it. just dont have a comment to make. you know?

  8. yes, BECAUSE im in love with you.

  9. Pyar hua iqraaaar hua hai pyaaaar se phir kiyun darta hai dil!

  10. pehla pehla pyaaaaaaaaaar hai…
    pehli pehli baaaaaaaaaaaaar hai…
    yaaar se bhi anjaaana…
    kaisa mera yaaar hai…………….

  11. no you may not.

  12. also, i see one sided conversations looks funny. even though they are the only life around this place.

    you should update.

  13. AHAHAAH! you wish. wannabe beparwah.

  14. raaaat baki! baaat baki… hona hai jo… ho janay do!

  15. acha ok damn the internet, i go.

  16. nasha sharab main hota to nachti botul.

  17. dekho meri ankhon main hain doray gulabi… main to nahi pita hua phir bhi sharabi…
    yeh hai teray pyar ka nasha…
    chanda si bhaabi…
    bhaiya raja ghar main le ke aa gaya guriyun ki raani…


  18. 18 kona berwalla

    Mere mahboob qayamat ho ge
    aaj ruswa teri galioon mein mohabat ho ge

  19. zindaaaaagiii maaain to sabhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii pyaaar kiaa kertay hain…
    main to maaaar ker bhiiii meriii jaaan, tujhe sataon ga….

  20. 20 kona berwalla

    yeh dhuaan sa khana sy uthta hy?

  21. 21 Hemlock

    Dhuan dhuan ho raha hai sama… Kahin to hai aag lagi

  22. 22 knicq

    So then, have you begun to have an urge to go park yourself outside private clinics… yet?

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