Archive for the ‘desi’ Category

since i have more or less completely lost whatever smattering of creative ability i once had, and since you have obviously not lost your desire to read my stuff, i will take the middle road, not the one robert frost (two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less travelled by) and […]


as a rule i keep my friends and family separate. this is not because i don’t like my family or because i like my friends too much but because if you’re a desi the way you categorise relatives is already very complicated without throwing in the friend card. let me explain. there are different names […]


it has been said that attempts at creativity, like writing, revive, and occasionally even resurrect, the dying (or dead, depending on how deep your faith is) brain cells that are the collateral damage of the mental exhaustion that goes along with the husool-e-rizq-e-halal policy that is the bane (and also the salvation) of my brothers-in-faith […]


in every fat man there is a thin man screaming to get out. in every colonial desi man there is a gora screaming to get out. in every fat colonial desi man there is a thin gora screaming to get out. which is why i have deep sympathies for the thin goras at barbecue delight […]


i apologise. i have disrespected the pakilandish engish teaching system loud and long, with a special focus on the parha likha punjab. this was totally uncalled for and i now acknowledge that inzimam ul haq sounds like an oxford don when compared with some of his fellow punjabis from across the border. respect, also, to […]


sometimes you hear things that remind you so achingly of home that its unbelievable. most of the time these things are ridiculous. but that’s understandable when you’re from pakiland. every pakistani, no matter how attuned or acclimatized or whatever the word is to wherever he might be, has an element of pakistaniat, as i beleve the […]


nahin nahin. not naz pan masala. that would be too bloody obvious. and i was never the naz type anyway. shahi deluxe was more my style until i decided to singlehandedly make the guy who owns wrigley’s a multibillionaire. plus why anyone would want to eat something like sonf after coating in it the thing […]