Archive for the ‘office cribs’ Category
the legend of nosmo king.
when all else fails, there is always apple juice. __________________________ which brings me to the subject at hand. one of the many things people don’t know about auditors is that they do not really like to be the boring geeks no one acknowledges are related to them. seriously. your average auditor, were he given the […]
Filed under: office cribs, social networking, the father of dhabi, the sweet stench of life | 26 Comments
ee bholro aahay.
ulm, baden-wurtemberg, germany, may be the kind of backwater you never visited or wanted to, but people with i.p. addresses originating from there have wandered on to this blog so woe betide thee who disrespecteth the place. even though it sounds like something my industrial sized stomach rumbles when the occupation rate dips below normal. […]
Filed under: aurat, office cribs, ramble, the sweet stench of life | 20 Comments
the answer to most things in life has been found in literature. how one defines literature, however, is important when analysing the previous statement. if a variety of definitions didn’t exist, half the pseudo-intellectuals in the world who parade around bragging about their post graduate degrees in subjects which never got them more than an […]
Filed under: office cribs, picture, the sweet stench of life | 23 Comments
the end of all sanity
there are reasons why auditors are generally considered to be the wierdest form of humanity after pakistan muslim leaguers and p.i.a. air hostesses. innate wit and a splendid sense of humour are not among them. neither, of course, is sanity. so when you become the ball being kicked around between managers who insist you get to the […]
Filed under: office cribs, picture, the sweet stench of life | 18 Comments
you become an auditor and you go places where sane men have never been before. places which, when talked about, leave the audience in tears (of sorrow or laughter depending on who they are) and occasionally in abject disbelief at the things we encounter in the name of good corporate governance and true and fair […]
Filed under: office cribs, ramble | 34 Comments
bubbar shah (punjabi, rangeen)
in true patriotic inzi-style, first of all thanks to Almighty Allah that my mother is now feeling much better and has started walking (with the help of a walker) again. Inshallah she’ll be fully mobile within a month or so. the surgeon was a good doc and a really nice guy in the bargain. that he looks […]
Filed under: office cribs, ramble, the sweet stench of life | 27 Comments
if there isn’t an old chinese proverb to that effect i’ll be very very surprised. i remember old family pictures from long ago when i was a kid before the entire collection was practically destroyed in the rains of 1991 when our storeroom got flooded. rather than the informal lounging relaxed poses common in today’s […]
Filed under: office cribs, ramble | 5 Comments
the method employed i would gladly explain, while i have it so clear in my head, if i had but the time and you had but the brain- but much yet remains to be said. lewis carrol, the hunting of the snark i have a cousin who the rest of us normally refer to as “commando”. its got […]
Filed under: office cribs, poetry, ramble, the sweet stench of life | 12 Comments
the embarassment of xill-e-ilahi
when after a bout of typhoid in the eighth grade which costs you one quarter of your body weight you are reduced to a mere seventy five pounds and manage to lose arm wrestling bouts with almost all the girls in your class, not to mention the boys, you can still wiggle your way out […]
Filed under: office cribs, the sweet stench of life | 9 Comments
they plutoed my appreciation…
in its 17th annual words of the year thingamajig, the american dialect society announced the term “plutoed” as its word of the year for 2006. the term is basically used in a sense of devaluation or demotion. if we had a pakistani dialect society, my term for the century would be “shat up”; the rendition […]
Filed under: desi, desi-ism, office cribs, ramble | 16 Comments
said a waiter long ago when asked why the union head was making such a fuss about the quantity of meat in his biryani. the words, while poetic, do not fully reflect the emotion, the meaning, the depth of feeling behind them. they had to be heard. its the tone that conveys meaning, not the […]
Filed under: office cribs, the sweet stench of life | 9 Comments
there are times when even the most alpha male type of chauvinist pigs probably end up wishing they were females. like when you’re standing in line to pay your electricity bill for instance. or when you get stuck with a flat tyre and no jack in the trunk. or when the waiter signals you to […]
Filed under: office cribs, the sweet stench of life | 4 Comments
what i mailed: mr. boss [name] yes i’m available on sunday. will see you at your office at nine a.m. abbas what i meant: you blithering idiot. i spent the better part of the morning sitting on my ass, fielding frantic telephone calls from the client while i waited for you to arrive. when you […]
Filed under: office cribs | 6 Comments
there are certain snakes that can lie in wait for their prey for hours on an end without moving. crocodiles stalking young springboks at the waterholes of darkest africa have been known to have waited for days. even your average gecko is unbeleivably patient as it contemplates whether or not it should rush forward to snap […]
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its not either, its either.
alternatively you could say that its not neither (nee-th-ur), its neither (na-ee-th-ur). it’s the same old tintin story. thompson with p and thomson without p. speedometer (spid-aw-mit-ur) or the desi speedometer (spee-do-mee-tur). or my old chemistry lab chromatography (kroma-tawg-ruphy) to the lab tech’s chromatography (kro-mat-o-graa-fee). it’s all cool. and nobody gives a shit. however, when […]
Filed under: office cribs | 2 Comments
Samandar-e-Bemaina - The Abbasnama 